On My Soapbox

 

My name is Kalyn Randolph, I am 22 years old, I have an opinion, and I praise Jesus that I am an American citizen because I am about to use my freedom of speech. I rarely get on my soapbox to vent, however recently I have just had something weighing on my heart and felt the need to share. I know that I have neglected the blog the past few weeks but married life and midterms are consuming my days (a post for another day). Today, I am back in full blast. When I started this blog I never intended to write a post that would be deemed controversial or confrontational. I am not one to call somebody out because I could care less how others choose to live their life, however I have noticed way to often lately that love has a massive impact on our world today. Whether you realize it or not, there is a huge impact on one generation to the next. I am aware that the way I chose to live my life today will affect my future children, students, and many others that I come in contact with on a daily basis. As humans, we impact others and others impact us simply because of curiosity. (Take people watching for example- It is very judgmental but we learn a ton from it, right?) When you talk about love, there is no way to not mention marriage or divorce. If you are reading today I do not care who you are or what marriage and/or dating represents in your life but I am going to be extremely blunt. The Lord did not create love for it to make you feel good about yourself or to only revolve around you. When speaking of marriage, it is not something that you should approach lightly. Marriage encompasses so much more than just pinning pins on Pinterest. Marriage is a gift, if you rather it is a remarkable blessing that should be embraced. I am absolutely and completely fed up with all the infidelity going on in our world.

I am a newlywed happily living this new journey of life with my high school sweetheart. We have been married three months and I will admit that we have learned a lot of about each other and about ourselves that we did not know before we said “I do.” The things that we have learned within the past few months dare not change the commitment we made to each other nor does what we have learned change our love for each other that has grown to be what it is today because of seven years of hard work, faith, dedication, and cultivation. If anything, Tony and I have grown stronger and closer throughout these past few months. Tony and I strive to look for and bring out the best in each other. We are not in a marriage only to look out for ourselves or feel good about ourselves. Call me old fashioned, but marriage is precious and sacred. Unfortunately, I think many people see marriage in a different light these days. I think that some people get married because they feel pressured, some because they think it is the right thing to do, and others just because they think they are in love even though they have not dated their partner long enough to know if they are even compatible soul mates (Kim Kardashian, anyone?).

I am not too sure how many of you are country music fans. If you know Tony and I well enough you know that we love Jason Aldean. Recently, he publicly admitted to cheating on his wife. He had a few beers and started kissing on another woman at a bar, but admitted that he left alone. I have known for some time that celebrities are just as vulnerable as anyone who is not in the spotlight but today it hit me like a ton of bricks. For some odd reason I cannot get this particular scenario off my mind. I have thought about what his wife must be dealing with. Then, I thought “Where in the world were his friends at this bar and why didn’t they hold him accountable for his actions?” I understand that infidelity happens often. I am sure we all know someone who has cheated or have been that someone who cheated. However, I do not understand the purpose behind it nor do I understand why people think “the grass is greener on the other side” when in reality it probably is worse. Also, I will never understand why people think that they will get away with cheating and “just have a little fun” when someone is taking the wrath for another’s ridiculous, insensitive, and compulsive decisions that are being made only for the moment. (While I am at it, I am just going to get this off my chest, too. Parents, before making irrational decisions think about your spouse, children, or family. Specifically speaking of children, know that what happens in your home, personal life, or relationships follows your children to the classroom and beyond forever. Parental actions, whether past or present affect students academically and professionally more than parents will ever understand.)

 

All of these thoughts led to the onset of more thoughts of marriage and divorce. When you consider all the young couples getting engaged right now, the numbers are pretty drastic. Unfortunately, so is the divorce rate. I know that I am young and I am certainly not perfect. However, I knew that I was not going to waste my time dating a guy that I could not see myself marrying. I understand that marriage is not easy, but overcoming the rough patches will provide for that time of drought that may be difficult for you and your spouse in the long run. As the old church saying goes, you must walk through the valley to get to the top of the mountain, right? (Something to consider in all aspects of life.) For those couples who have been married less than a year and decide that they are no longer compatible, do you think you should have figured that aspect out before spending bundles of money on a wedding? Deciding to throw in the towel is not the solution to your problems. Divorce is not a resolution.Your problems will follow you from one relationship to another, and being married to your HUSBAND is not like dating your BOYFRIEND. You cannot decide to break up with your husband simply because you realized marriage was not a field full of daisies. The part of the wedding ceremony where you swap vows is the most important aspect of a marriage that will carry you through the tough days. Divorce is not that easy and is not the solution needed to be sought for correcting a martial problem. (Now, I will say that if abuse is involved it is a different story.) I will never understand why people think they can just get a divorce and have things go back to being normal. I realize that not every person is happily married, but there will come a time and place in every marriage that you are no longer only working for you and your spouse to benefit, yet you are working for the benefit of your entire family. It is all about growth and change. Life is not always going to be a box of chocolates but I think the real reward will come when we are all old and gray and can look back on all that was overcome in the midst of adversity, triumph over trials. Finally, this has nothing to do with divorce or marriage but for all the young girls reading, take note. If you think you are dating someone that could end up being your future spouse do everyone a favor and please practice abstinence.  If you “just so happen” to end up pregnant please understand that the world no longer revolves around you and your fairy tale lover. It will revolve around your child therefore you better hope you picked the right person that will be committed to helping you in the long run. If not, thank you for sending your child to school. As a future educator, I will gladly take on your job to do my best to be a mother and teacher during my eight hour reign with your child.

I am done. I have successfully killed an hour of studying to vent about infidelity and all that it encompasses. If it does not do anyone else well, I know it has been beneficial for me to think through and get off my chest. If you are a prayer warrior please pray for our world, this generation of students and their parents, babies having babies, and especially our teachers who take on more than they are asked. As always, until next time- happy blogging.