Confessions [Marriage as a Commitment]

Good Morning, Blog World! 

As a new wife learning the ropes of marriage and having to share everything with your significant other, I thought I would continue my spill on marriage being a commitment, not a contract. Love is a beautiful thing and to share this life with the one the Lord created just for you is a breath of fresh air each morning. 

After being married for six months I posted Confessions [Being A New Wife]. Then, I added to my spill in that post with another post Confessions [Marriage as a Contract]. Now, I know you may be thinking "What in the world does this girl know about marriage? She is a newlywed!" and I totally agree with you. I do not know much, but I am pretty much an open book when it comes to sharing my life and love because I feel as though each are two of the main stumbling blocks for many ladies out there trying to find their place in this world.

Currently, my heart is in overdrive because love month is here!! Admittedly, I am a newlywed obsessed with love, life, and my Savior. Also, I am super excited to be married and to finally have the opportunity to share the month of February with my husband. You should probably know that we started dating seven years ago, became in engaged in 2011 and were married June 2012. Five of those year we dated were long distance, therefore we have not spent Valentine's Day together since we were both in high school. Talk about long over due! 

I am not sure how many of you ladies out there are dating or are married, but I think this post can be related to both sides of the fence. When I was in the dating world, I was very peculiar about who I would date and the commitment that I would make in certain relationships. As a youth I read And The Bride Wore White and I Kissed Dating Goodbye. It was then I made a commitment to myself and to the Lord that I would not date a guy that I could not see myself marrying. Luckily, shortly after reading these books I met my Husband and here we are today doing life in the real world as a married couple. 

 I think the starting point for the marriage covenant begins with a relationship rooted in a foundation based on the gospel. Today's generation has a falsified view of marriage, yet the Lord intended it to represent more than just a contract. The understanding of marriage is should not be the gains from marriage, but the relationship between a man and his wife, the soul commitment the two share in self-giving, unconditional love. 

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians 4: 2-3

As you all know, when you get married you make certain vows. However, a vow is not meaningful until you are forced to keep it. The same can be applied to dating, too. When the going gets tough is when the vow of commitment begins to have full meaning. How many people can you think of who make promises only to break them in divorce? Or, for those who are dating cheat on their partner for insignificant reasons?  Those types of relationships never had true commitment from the get-go.  

No matter if you are dating or are married, when you pledge yourself to another, you are taking a stand for love and are putting your heart on the line. When things get rough, most people want to take the easy way out instead of working through that deep valley. With hard work and dedication, together you can make it to the top of the mountain and enjoy the view but it will take time, patience, faithfulness, love, and commitment. It is then that you can truly testify to a relationship that has matured through commitment. 

Now, I am certainly not saying that commitment is easy. Commitment is not something  actually accomplished just by wearing a white dress and saying your vows at your wedding or being honest and open in a dating relationship. Commitment takes time. It takes love. It takes faith, work, and a foundation centered around the gospel. 

Commitment takes TWO people. One person cannot do all of the work in order to have a successful dating relationship or marriage. When love, promises, and vows are put to the test, I truly believe that is where the depth of a relationship reveals itself. At some point your relationship must be transformed from the selfishness that originally existed to the commitment that will keep you together. 

Feeling committed to someone when everything is going good is not a true demonstration of commitment. When things seem to be falling apart, when you feel insecure, let down, or disappointed and yet still remain committed, that is a good demonstration of pursued, developed, established commitment. It is in these times, the Lord allows us to realize a relationship is ultimately special and strengthened because of Him and Him alone.

I will be the first to tell you that marriage is not all roses and smiley faces. As much as I wish it was, there would be no joy in successfully learning, living, and loving with your spouse. I adore my husband, all that he does as our provider and home leader, and each moment that we have to share together in this new chapter of life and love. Although we get busy at times making life happen we are learning to slow down and enjoy the moments that are forever fleeting beneath our grasp. As I mentioned above, love is a beautiful thing but it takes your entire self, the love of another, and the Lord all up in the middle guiding the way. 

Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Philippians 2:2

As always, until next time- Happy Blogging! 

PS- If you have not read the other two posts, I would highly suggest it. They are the introduction into this post! Also, I am terribly sorry for the photo overload! I forget which ones I have posted and then I cannot pick my absolute favorites.