Selfish Sacrifice

To love sacrificially is to go the extra mile, to give more than is strictly required, to be willing to “bear one another’s burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2)

This past week I was working on some homework when I heard our doorbell ring. We hardly ever have unexpected visitors so I was clueless as to who could be at the door. It turned out to be the maintenance crew from our complex. Once I let the men in and talked with them for a few minutes I learned that our neighbors were having a ceiling leak because of our dishwasher. Crazy, right? I had never heard of such, but I also have never lived in an apartment.

An inspection proved that our dishwasher motor was way out dated. It turns out our dishwasher was 15 years old and would have to replaced. This meant that we would not have a dishwasher for a few days. We already to do not have a deep, large sink nor the appropriate counter space for drying dishes so I was freaking out a bit. After all was said and done I have to admit that I was extremely disheartened that we would not have a dishwasher.

I spend a good bit of my time in the kitchen. I immediately knew that I would need to regroup my plan for the next few days meals. We already had bought groceries so I was determined that we would not be eating out and wasting bought food. I was going to continue to cook, regardless of having a dishwasher. Regardless of having enough space to wash. Regardless of having enough space to dry dishes. I will admit that I was pretty upset over having to make such a small sacrifice. I quickly developed a grudge that was very inappropriate.

At first I did not even comprehend that our dishwasher was causing someone else a problem. Also, I never considered the fact that we were going to receive a brand new dishwasher without having a penny leave our bank account (That being part of the beauty of living in an apartment. If we had this problem in a home, we would be doing some major dish washing for a while). 

In that moment I was only thinking of me. I was only thinking of all that I was planning to cook for the next few days. I was only thinking of how small our sink was. I was thinking of how we had limited counter space. Of all things to possibly lose in life, I was only thinking of not having a dishwasher. How terrible? 

When Tony got home I spilled the news to him. It was in that very conversation that I convicted. I was utterly ashamed of myself for being so negative and selfish. Because I was in my own little world, I never once thought of anyone but me. It did not cross my mind that some families do not own a dishwasher. It did not cross my mind that some families do not have running water. It did not cross my mind that some wives cannot feed their family.

I quickly refocused my heart and mind. I realized that it certainly was not going to kill us to wash dishes by hand for a few days. Nor would it kill my OCD to have dishes all over the counter. Needless to say, this little speed bump happening in our kitchen is mere heartache compared to what others are facing in our world. So many people do not have their health, and other families are struggling to pay the bills. Many people around me have much more than a dishwasher taken from them unexpectedly. I got to thinking... "How many times a day do I think selfishly? Often. How many times a day do I make sacrifices for others without receiving something in turn? Not often enough."

Most of the time I make selfish sacrifices to satisfy my selfish needs. If you are honest with yourself, many of us would will admit that we have been victims of such selfishness. I know I am guilty. When we indulge in helping people around us- be it strangers, acquaintances or just random people, it starts out unconditionally but ends up convicting us eventually because our selfish desires preside.

As soon as I realized my convictions had purpose, I challenged myself to stop thinking selfishly. To sacrifice. Although our selfish desires are part of human nature, they can most certainly be contained. Being the type of teenager who was at church every time the doors were open, quickly reminded me of a sermon I took notes on long ago. This sermon is one I heard from Bro. Micah Gandy. I ran and grabbed my pre-teen Bible and started fishing for the program from that service.

These were a few of my notes:

"One who lives a sacrificial life does not count the number of individual sacrifices that must be made, for to live is to give. But in order to live in this way, one must truly know the love of God and be enkindled with a living hope for eternal blessedness with Him. Christ in us is our hope of glory, and therefore we willingly toil, striving with the energy He mightily inspires in us (see Colossians 1:27-29)."

"Once sacrifice becomes a way of life, and the difficulties seem less difficult, and love softens all sufferings, can we really say that we are making sacrifices any more? Jesus’ call to holiness is meant to make our joy complete. Sacrifice should mean a cheerful offering of all that life brings, not a grudging acceptance of the inevitable. The Lord came to bring abundant life, but He knows that selfishness suffocates true life, and that even justice is inadequate for the fullness of life and joy. Nothing short of the full outpouring of our life in love will lead us to peace and everlasting happiness. Selfishness must be eradicated and embraced as the highest good we can experience in this life."

Lesson learned: Yes, I admit that I took having a dishwasher for granted. No, it did not kill me to not have a dishwasher. Part of why I am making such a big deal about this little kitchen episode is because the Lord has been showing me a lot of selfishness in myself over the last while. It is a painful process, but it is embracing to sense the Lord's hand, even in rebuke.

There is so much that I take for granted on a daily basis that I wish I would not. I hate that there is so much that I overlook. I hate that there is so much that I take for granted. I hate that there is so much that I have that I forget I really do not need. With all my might, I plan to start slowing down and taking notice of these things. Even if it means spending extra time in the kitchen doing something that I may not enjoy. The Lord has gracious blessed me with groceries when I wanted/needed them, a kitchen to cook in, a heart for recipes, and willing people to feed. I want to praise the Lord in each instance of rebuke- even if my selfishness is sacrificial, it will eventually aid my daily routine unexpectedly. Hopefully, through this self challenge I will decrease and He will increase.

This scenario can be compared to just about anything in life. Currently, with Christmas right around the corner I am sure many of us feel a tinge of selfishness or sacrifice depending upon certain circumstances happening around you/in your family. If you are reading today, I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone. Realize all that surrounds you. Embrace sacrifice. Overall selfish desires. No matter what you are going through, try not to get your tinsel in a tangle! While everyone is hustling about trying to find that perfect gift, or completing ingredients for a recipe- Remember the reason for the season. Do not take Christ mas for granted.

God has to get us to the point where we give up and turn to Him. Until then, we will continue to fight a battle that cannot be won without His guidance. When we finally give up, we become what He has been gently asking for all along: A living sacrifice.

Life is what we make it. How are you living each day? How are you making a difference?

PS- I love the new dishwasher. It noticeably washes the dishes better! :)

Until next time- Happy Blogging!