Before I started my day I saw a tweet from a fellow blogger, Lauren, From My Grey Desk that said:
"One of the most dangerous things for a Christian to do is become dulled to the impact of their sin and the sacrifice of Jesus."
[Let that sink in for a minute.]
Then, after lunch I was catching up on my blog roll and saw a post on Bloom The Blog from Kate at Kate and Kuby on married life. Kate blogged on 5 particular points of marriage entitled After You Say I Do. Can I just say that she hit the nail on the head with that post? If you are engaged or are a newlywed, please take 2 minutes to jump over and read her post!
Anyway, Kate blogged on a particular topic in that post that hit home with me. Her topic on selfishness resonates deeply within my heart as Tony and I start our 7 month of marriage in the coming weeks.
Kate says it best with this:
"Marriage has made me a woman of repentance. I never realized how truly selfish I was until I got married. And it hit me like a brick wall. I'm super selfish. Marriage means constantly dying to yourself and putting your spouse first. ..... ...you can learn to be a little less selfish and a little more selfless. This is only possible through the gospel. Jesus and the gospel have to be at the center of it all."
So, so, so true!
I am so selfish. I know that I am a selfish person on occasion because I choose to step outside of my little rim to examine the things that I want to change. However, at times, depending upon the circumstances I choose to believe that it is never my fault. It is always because of someone or something else.
At times, I am selfish in my relationship with the Lord. At times, I am selfish in our marriage.
My relationship with Jesus is not about marking my readings off of a to-do list each day. The mountains and valleys of life are real and the rut of life and relationships are real. Regardless, my relationship with Jesus is about growth and prosperity towards an eternal life. HE is always there and waiting on ME. In that moment, I asked myself, am pursuing to know the Lord deeper and am I making Him known in every way that I possibly can?
On the other end of the spectrum, when considering our marriage, it truly does not matter who does the chores first, if Tony folds the towels the same way I fold the towels, or whether dinner is ready on time. Once the giddiness of marriage fades, once the bills roll in, Tony and I still live and love because of Him. While we may fail each other during different situations, the Lord quickly reminds us that we are not married for each other. We are married because of HIM. Our marriage is not ours. Our marriage is His. Despite what the media markets or photos on a Pinterest wedding board provide, marriage is about Him and is for Him.
Later that afternoon I was siting at my desk going though some mail and listening to some Phillip Phillips. Those two portions of text that I had read earlier in the day had been running through my brain all day. For some reason they were hitting me like a ton of bricks. My heart was so heavy because I realized just how selfish I had been in prior days all for ridiculous reasons. In the midst of things, I just had a God moment. In those moments of reflection, the Lord did a number on my heart. I felt so much joy and peace and grace and love from above. The Lord works in weird ways, y'all. But, I will admit that I am so thankful He works in His timing and not in mine.
To succeed in my mission field for the Lord, I must devote everything to Him. In that moment, I had to repent of all of the selfish desires controlling my sinful heart. Sacrifice is thinking about others before you think about yourself. So, in order to fulfill the plan the Lord has prepared for me, I must sacrifice my selfishness. In humility, I must consider the interest of others despite what may be the end result of my sacrifice.
Selfishness is a beast. Even when we are ruled by God, our service to God is as crude as as an ash tray because of selfishness. Life is tough. Marriage is grace. But, through it all we are not alone.
Lesson of the Day: My faith is selfish but my God is steadfast. My God is unselfishness.
I am blessed by the journey I have traveled in my relationship with the Lord. He is faithful although at times I am not.
I love love and the opportunity to share each and every day with the one perfect man the Lord created for me. Tony is more than I could have ever asked for. I have never loved him more than I do this very day in this very moment.
I love this life I live.
In the midst of my selfish faith, I give it all to the Lord. Despite the mountains and the valleys, I am willing, ready, and able to let go of what I am to become all the Lord wants of me in every aspect of this life. This life is not for me. It is for Him. All I can do is live the life the Lord gave me for today and make the best of what is to come. "To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sign of sadness, but it should be an expressions of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we certain of God. As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our life with surprises."
On the other end of the spectrum, when considering our marriage, it truly does not matter who does the chores first, if Tony folds the towels the same way I fold the towels, or whether dinner is ready on time. Once the giddiness of marriage fades, once the bills roll in, Tony and I still live and love because of Him. While we may fail each other during different situations, the Lord quickly reminds us that we are not married for each other. We are married because of HIM. Our marriage is not ours. Our marriage is His. Despite what the media markets or photos on a Pinterest wedding board provide, marriage is about Him and is for Him.
Later that afternoon I was siting at my desk going though some mail and listening to some Phillip Phillips. Those two portions of text that I had read earlier in the day had been running through my brain all day. For some reason they were hitting me like a ton of bricks. My heart was so heavy because I realized just how selfish I had been in prior days all for ridiculous reasons. In the midst of things, I just had a God moment. In those moments of reflection, the Lord did a number on my heart. I felt so much joy and peace and grace and love from above. The Lord works in weird ways, y'all. But, I will admit that I am so thankful He works in His timing and not in mine.
Psalm 119:36: Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain
Selfishness is a beast. Even when we are ruled by God, our service to God is as crude as as an ash tray because of selfishness. Life is tough. Marriage is grace. But, through it all we are not alone.
Lesson of the Day: My faith is selfish but my God is steadfast. My God is unselfishness.
Sacrifice is selflessness.
I am blessed by the journey I have traveled in my relationship with the Lord. He is faithful although at times I am not.
I love love and the opportunity to share each and every day with the one perfect man the Lord created for me. Tony is more than I could have ever asked for. I have never loved him more than I do this very day in this very moment.
I love this life I live.
In the midst of my selfish faith, I give it all to the Lord. Despite the mountains and the valleys, I am willing, ready, and able to let go of what I am to become all the Lord wants of me in every aspect of this life. This life is not for me. It is for Him. All I can do is live the life the Lord gave me for today and make the best of what is to come. "To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sign of sadness, but it should be an expressions of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we certain of God. As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our life with surprises."
So let me finish with this: Know that if you are struggling in your marriage or relationship with Jesus because of selfishness, you are prayed for today. I pray that you will be encouraged, redeemed, and refreshed. "You are safer in the battle of obedience than on the sideline of ease." Hope is available and rest is waiting through the struggles. The Lord is waiting and willing to intercede on your behalf. Will you let Him?
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